Who am I without my Routines?

“Does this habit still serve me or am I blindly following an old routine?” James Clear

As I re-adjust to working full time, along with mothering and wife-ing and trying to find time to continue to put on my own oxygen mask, I had to stop and ask myself: are my old routines still working?

I LIVE by my routines and my daily to-do lists.

But I saw this quote in an Email and I had to really ask myself: are my habits still serving me? Or am I blindly following these old routines because…that’s what I’ve always done?

It’s curious to me because I’ve never been afraid of change. I like to control my environment and if a change will help me to do it, in the words of @sgardnerstyle “I will pivot a bitch”.

So what is the problem?

I think I have become so wrapped up in my identity of “the one who wakes up early, gets the workout in, and does more in her 4-9 than you do your whole day” persona.

*cringe*

But is that really who I am anymore? Do I even WANT to be that person anymore?

I know that have an insane need for control. And the more the rest of my life is out of focus, the more control I exert over myself. And friends, the last 3 years were TOTALLY out of my control.

That’s when my routines became more and more rigid.

I looked around and I had become my routine.

The question now becomes: Who am I without it?

I don’t have solutions right now. I’m actively working through this so when I figure it out, I’ll let you know.

But just know I’m trying to give myself grace. And acknowledge that not only can I NOT do it all, but that I don’t WANT to do it all anymore.

Things I read/noticed/saw last week

• I’ve been listening to this book on Audible for a month and while it had good info on sleeping eating and workout habits based on your body type, it did seem to get a little wo wo towards the middle. But about 75% of the book had me like OMG that’s me! It also gave me a few tips that I have implemented and I know they have helped me sleep better.

• Speaking of sleep, I ordered these sleepytime Super lattes because IG kept feeding me the ads for them and I just gave in. I’m also trying the Golden latte which has turmeric which is good for inflammation. Cause my knee ya’ll!!!

• The April Photo a Day is happening over on the gram. You can still join us! I’m really trying to post ONLY photos. ( aside from a few sponsored reels).We shall see…

• The boy is on spring break while I’m working a full-time job for the first time in 5 years. Let us pray.

• I heard that we don’t have to actually walk 10k steps a day to reap the benefits. This article says that 8k steps a day will do…

• We wrapped up our March Banned Book Club pick with a zoom yesterday. I loved the book, but hated the topic. But I would never call for it to be banned. If you want to join us this month, the invitation is always open to join us.

That’s all friends!

See you next week!

LaShawn